{"id":2137,"date":"2011-12-04T20:37:05","date_gmt":"2011-12-05T00:37:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2137"},"modified":"2011-12-04T20:37:05","modified_gmt":"2011-12-05T00:37:05","slug":"advent-of-holiday-horror-song-22","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2137","title":{"rendered":"Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 22"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday’s advent post<\/a>\u00a0included a Unitarian joke.\u00a0 (Unitarian jokes, gotta love ’em!)\u00a0 Today, for about 15 minutes, there was a time when you could Google “Unitarian jokes” and find that Big Ugly Man Doll post as one of the top hits.\u00a0 Now, a few hours later, I’ve fallen out of the top hits again.\u00a0 I assume this is an example of God messing with me.\u00a0 Who would have guessed he was a Unitarian?<\/p>\n

But this isn’t about that.\u00a0 This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that make me barf a bit,\u00a0the ones you know, and you know you know them, and you know you’re supposed to love them, because they’re NICE and they’re CLASSIC and\u00a0they’re MEANINGFUL\u00a0\u00a0– you know the kind I mean.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Today’s exercise in holiday tune torture comes to us from the one and only John Lennon.\u00a0 Imagine there’s no Yoko!\u00a0 But there is a Yoko.\u00a0 And she’s singing with him on this one, and if that’s not bad enough, they would like to wish you a Happy Christmas by showing you dead people, kids with guns, and amputees.\u00a0 Yes, there are bad things in the world.\u00a0 Yes, we’re all bastards, and war is evil.\u00a0 Happy Christmas, you should be ashamed and depressed.\u00a0 Like the holidays aren’t stressful and depressing on their own, we need this?\u00a0 I mean, kudos to John – it’s tough to really get people down with eight lines and\u00a0a refrain, but he DOES it, by gum.\u00a0 “So, this is Christmas \/you miserable shit.\u00a0 Why not take your money \/ and wallow in it.”\u00a0<\/p>\n

Go ahead.\u00a0 Rip your heart out watching sad, desperate people do sad, desperate things to each other, with bonus corpses for extra holiday cheer!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I’ll be\u00a0over here, figuring out how to get this Question Mark tree topper on the Christmas tree.\u00a0<\/p>\n