SOBUMD and the HTR just left for church.\u00a0 Before those of you who know us well hurt your jaws as they bounce on your respective desks, it’s a Unitarian service.\u00a0 Now, in the old days when SOBUMD would take some or all of the kids to the local Catholic mass, as they walked out I’d yell, “Say Hi to God for me!”\u00a0 Today, as they were leaving, I thought about it a moment and yelled, “Ask a question for me!”\u00a0<\/p>\n
“What’s the question?” came the reply.\u00a0 “Doesn’t much matter, does it?” I said.<\/p>\n
Ah, Unitarian jokes, gotta love ’em.\u00a0 But this isn’t about that.\u00a0 This is an advent countdown of Christmas and other miscellaneous holiday songs that really make me throw up in my mouth a little, that nasty scratchy taste in your throat when you hear them – you know the kind I mean.\u00a0 Those.<\/p>\n
Today’s exercise in aural holiday torture comes to us compliments of the\u00a0pop mop-top we love to hate, Justin Bieber.\u00a0 Someone seems to have told this barely pubescent punk-wannabe to record a Christmas tune.\u00a0 I can just imagine the conversation:\u00a0 “Justin, dude, my man, we need some more cash.\u00a0 What say you do a Christmas carol?\u00a0 That’s money, baby!”<\/p>\n
JB:\u00a0 “OK.\u00a0 But what should I write it about?”<\/p>\n
Record Company:\u00a0 “I dunno dude, what about getting laid?\u00a0 That’s always a hit!”<\/p>\n
It\u2019s the most beautiful time of the year<\/em> The first verse is also the last one with a complete internal rhyme, since, ya know, that’s hard, and no one cares ’cause they’re just looking at the video anyway, which features Santa’s leather jacket.\u00a0 You can tell it’s Santa’s since (A) it doen’t fit Justin, and (B) snow does not actually accumulate nor even fall on the jacket, regardless of the fact that it’s “snowing” in the video.\u00a0<\/p>\n Go ahead.\u00a0 Take your insulin shot and then click to see for yourself!\u00a0 A tribute to Holiday Hey Hey by a boy under the age of consent in most states.<\/p>\n
\nLights fill the streets spreading so much cheer<\/em>
\nI should be playing in the winter snow<\/em>
\nBut I’mma be under the mistletoe<\/em><\/p>\n