{"id":2017,"date":"2011-11-04T00:25:53","date_gmt":"2011-11-04T04:25:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2017"},"modified":"2011-11-04T00:25:53","modified_gmt":"2011-11-04T04:25:53","slug":"manfaq-friday-oh-yeah-says-who","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=2017","title":{"rendered":"ManFAQ Friday: Oh Yeah? Says Who?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.\u00a0 Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n

\n

Question:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Why are boys my age so immature?<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0They’re not, really.\u00a0 You’re just noticing the difference between the ones “your age” and the ones a few years older, who are less likely to be talking and more likely – you don’t believe a word of this, do you?\u00a0 OK, no, you’re right.<\/p>\n

Now, the funny thing\u00a0is that while this question was posed by a younger woman, by which I mean a 3rd-Grader, it\u00a0never stops being a valid question, asked by women of every age throughout history.\u00a0 My mother, who is in her very late 30s, has asked it of my father.\u00a0 Many friends, girl-type, have asked me this about their guys at one point or another, at various ages, and in fact an older woman (in her early 100s)\u00a0was recently bemoaning the fact that all the men her age were either still too immature or “napping, if you know what I mean.”\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Which actually answers the question.\u00a0 Our fear is that if we were to actually mature and “act our age” all the time, you’d throw dirt over us.\u00a0 The boys your age will always be immature morons, because that’s pretty much our natural state – age notwithstanding.\u00a0 We’re aging with you, but we’re not maturing with you.\u00a0 We’re not planning on maturing at all.\u00a0 Consider Shrek’s choice in his second film:\u00a0<\/p>\n

Shrek? You drink that, there’s no going back.<\/strong>
\nI know.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

No more wallowing in the mud?<\/strong>
\nI know.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

No more itchy butt crack?<\/strong>
\nI know!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

But you love being an ogre!<\/strong>
\nI know!\u00a0 But I love Fiona more.<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Now remember, that was a movie.\u00a0 Most of us wouldn’t drink that shit to change us into someone your parents will approve of – at least, not without a whole lot of Hey Hey involved.\u00a0 Itchy Butt Crack is more than just a great name for a band – it’s a\u00a0lifestyle choice.\u00a0 We fart, we belch, then we giggle because it smells really<\/em> bad in here – and we’re not planning on growing out of it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d<\/strong> like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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