{"id":1964,"date":"2011-10-13T22:44:33","date_gmt":"2011-10-14T02:44:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1964"},"modified":"2011-10-13T22:44:33","modified_gmt":"2011-10-14T02:44:33","slug":"hasten-jason-bring-the-basin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1964","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Hasten, Jason!  Bring the basin!&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mark Twain once mentioned that stories requiring no embellishment or embroidery were very rarely worth the retelling, and while I cannot disagree with the great man in the general case, I find that his adage breaks down in the specific.\u00a0 To wit, evidence the email SOBUMD and I sent to the school of Number One Son this evening, which I will copy here in its entirety.<\/p>\n<p>To: &lt;the teachers of Number One Son&gt;<br \/>\nFrom: &lt;SOBUMD and myself&gt;<br \/>\nDate: 10\/13\/2011<br \/>\nSubject: Vomit<\/p>\n<p>Number One Son mentioned this evening that earlier today he felt as though he were going to vomit, but that he had &#8220;worked through it.&#8221;\u00a0 He went on to mention that when he brought this up to whomever he was with, he felt ignored.\u00a0 We would like you to be very aware that should Number One Son tell you that he feels that he may throw up, he is well versed and practiced in this endeavor, and is very likely to regurgitate forthwith and without regard to circumstance or location.\u00a0 Should this matter come up in the future, we strongly recommend handing the boy a bucket and sending him to the nurse.\u00a0 She can vouch for this recommendation.<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nYours in health,<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nSOBUMD\/BUMD<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mark Twain once mentioned that stories requiring no embellishment or embroidery were very rarely worth the retelling, and while I cannot disagree with the great man in the general case, I find that his adage breaks down in the specific.\u00a0 To wit, evidence the email SOBUMD and I sent to the school of Number One [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[61,47,5,40],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1964"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1964"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1964\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1965,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1964\/revisions\/1965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}