It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.\u00a0 Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n
Question:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0Why is it that whenever I get sick, my spouse likes to inform me that he is actually feeling worse? <\/em><\/p>\n Answer:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0Now, hold on a second.\u00a0<\/p>\n OK, I’m back, thanks.\u00a0 Yeah, he’s a jerk.\u00a0 We all are, really.<\/a>\u00a0 This kind of behavior is ingrained in many of us from a young age, by which I mean ‘before we were born’ – the concept of brinksmanship, one-upsmanship, call it what you will.\u00a0 Anything you can do, I can do better.\u00a0 I’m the man in this house, sweetheart, and as such I expect to be taller, wider, heavier, faster, sicker, and drunker than you.\u00a0 I’d love to say we got it from our dads, but mostly we didn’t.\u00a0 We got it from one another, on the playground.\u00a0<\/p>\n “My wrist hurts.”\u00a0 Trust me, if you’re sick, he wants to be sicker – both to show you solidarity in your time of illness, and to keep up the game.\u00a0 He doesn’t even think about it anymore, he’s not doing it consciously – it’s a call and response from his limbic system.\u00a0 Try this: look dead at him, catch his eye, and sing a low note – then point at him.\u00a0 No warning, no explanation.\u00a0 I’ll bet you he tries to sing a lower note.\u00a0<\/p>\n So, yeah, you’re not feeling well.\u00a0 He’s on his last legs, near death.\u00a0 He just didn’t want to mention it because it’s not manly (unless he has pneumonia, which is bitchin cool<\/a>), and besides, if he had told you how unwell he was, you might not think he was up for a little Hey Hey<\/a>\u00a0later.\u00a0<\/p>\n And he is.\u00a0 Even if he’s dead.\u00a0<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d<\/strong> like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Why is it that whenever I get sick, my spouse likes to inform me that he is actually feeling worse? Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[41,46],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1612"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1616,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612\/revisions\/1616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n“Oh yeah?\u00a0 My whole arm hurts.”\u00a0
\n“Oh yeah?\u00a0 My arm’s actually broken.”\u00a0
\n“Oh yeah?\u00a0 Look, I’m bleeding.\u00a0 Doesn’t bother me any.”\u00a0
\n“Really?\u00a0 I’m actually dead.\u00a0 I just breathe out of habit.”<\/p>\n
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