It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.\u00a0 Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n
Question:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0How does the pee get on the outside of the toilet?\u00a0 He tells me he has good aim, but somehow we always get pee streaks running down the side of the toilet.\u00a0 Ugh, gross.\u00a0 So then of course he always tells me he “cleans” the toilet…\u00a0 But doesn’t clean that part, because he doesn’t know\/realize that it’s there? <\/em><\/p>\n Answer:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Now, we’ve discussed toilets here before, but let’s go into some detail on the mechanics.\u00a0 I’m going to start with something that you know, intellectually, but you may forget in the general case – we’re standing up<\/span>.\u00a0 Many women I’ve talked to about urine – and you’d be surprised how often the topic comes up – tell me that they’ve never had the opportunity nor occasion to pee into a target (bowl, bucket, whathaveyou) while standing up.\u00a0 Or at least not while sober.<\/p>\n So, starting with “he’s standing up,” the next item is “getting started.”\u00a0 Have you ever started a car by stomping on the gas, only to find that the wheels were turned to the side?\u00a0 This happens to us.\u00a0 It’s not unlike targeting bullets using tracer rounds – you see where the first few salvos went and adjust fire accordingly.\u00a0 Sometimes we’re a little wider off the mark than we thought.<\/p>\n And then we come to “stopping.”\u00a0 Ever watched a garden hose go from all the way ON to all the way OFF?\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 There’s an old poem among men:\u00a0<\/p>\n No matter how you shake it That final trickle doesn’t always go where we think it did.\u00a0 It’s not that we don’t try, it’s just that we slept through that part of our Fluid Dynamics classes that day.\u00a0<\/p>\n And finally – clean it up?\u00a0 Let’s face it, if he was actually cleaning the toilets you wouldn’t be writing to the ManFAQ.\u00a0 He might clean the top part that he can see (from above – remember, he’s standing above it, and anything outside his immediate field of view does not exist) if he knows you’re checking on him or that his mother’s coming for dinner, but other than that he probably doesn’t notice that you’ve cleaned them, or that they should be cleaned.\u00a0 To him, it’s the natural state of the toilet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d<\/strong> like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How does the pee get on the outside of the toliet? Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[41],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1596"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1596"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1596\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1605,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1596\/revisions\/1605"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nno matter how you dance
\nthose last few couple drops
\nalways get on your pants.<\/p>\n
\n