{"id":155,"date":"2008-01-14T15:33:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-14T19:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=155"},"modified":"2008-01-14T15:33:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-14T19:33:00","slug":"cant-make-it-to-work-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=155","title":{"rendered":"Can&#8217;t make it to work today&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt\">Last night, as I was walking home from a visit with the lady of the local lake, I was set upon&nbsp;and taken hostage by a thunderous rush of irredentist geologists bent on the reunification of Gondwanaland.&nbsp;They told me of their master plan and swore me to utmost secrecy, so I can\u2019t tell you how glad I was to escape.&nbsp;I told them I&#8217;d cede them Australia and Hawaii if they could prove that the morning\u2019s first cup of coffee did indeed recapitulate phylogeny.&nbsp;Once they agreed to the test, I had to wait until they went through the starfish phase to make my escape.&nbsp;I was going to pull their limbs off, but, you know, what would be the point?&nbsp;As I ran away, I fell into a logical hole that had opened along a philosophical fault line and broke my stirrup bone.&nbsp;The pain was so intense that I couldn\u2019t hear the thunderous rush of daybreak until late this morning, and now I need to see about getting it fixed so that I\u2019ll hear such thunderous rushes in the future, or tomorrow, whichever comes first.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, that&#8217;s why I can&#8217;t make it in to work today.&nbsp;<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night, as I was walking home from a visit with the lady of the local lake, I was set upon&nbsp;and taken hostage by a thunderous rush of irredentist geologists bent on the reunification of Gondwanaland.&nbsp;They told me of their master plan and swore me to utmost secrecy, so I can\u2019t tell you how glad [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[14],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=155"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}