{"id":1434,"date":"2011-05-27T07:22:06","date_gmt":"2011-05-27T11:22:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1434"},"modified":"2011-05-27T07:22:06","modified_gmt":"2011-05-27T11:22:06","slug":"manfaq-friday-pick-your-seats-gents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1434","title":{"rendered":"ManFAQ Friday: Pick your seats, gents!"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.\u00a0 Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n

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Question:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0What’s with the skidmarks?\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer:\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>OK, look.\u00a0 It itches.\u00a0 Things that itch, we scratch.\u00a0 We don’t care where, or how, or who’s watching.\u00a0 Have you ever seen a professional baseball game?\u00a0 Thirty-five thousand in the stands and a million people watching on television, and the shortstop is scratching his nuts.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because they itch.<\/p>\n

You’ve seen what we eat, and Hello! I covered the hirsute cheek-horn <\/a>last week.\u00a0 What do you think happens when all that hair is displaced by a brief gale?\u00a0 It gets out of position, and someone needs to make it right.\u00a0 It itches, and there’s this convenient scrap of cloth Right There!\u00a0<\/p>\n

So yeah, sorry about that.\u00a0 Certain drugs list “seepage” as a side effect; it turns out that two of those drugs are coffee and beer – which then makes the little brown rosebud itch.\u00a0\u00a0I would never suggest that prostate self-exams contribute to the issue, because we all know that real guys don’t do that.\u00a0\u00a0 Um, much.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Now you know.\u00a0 Please, feel free to comment!\u00a0 Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What’s with the skidmarks? Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[41],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1434"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1438,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434\/revisions\/1438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}