{"id":136,"date":"2007-10-25T17:37:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-25T21:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=136"},"modified":"2007-10-25T17:37:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-25T21:37:00","slug":"ok-were-doomed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=136","title":{"rendered":"OK, we&#8217;re doomed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We, by which I refer to myself, the BigUglyManDoll, together with my wife, the WifeOfTheBigUglyManDoll, are doomed.  The reason we are doomed seems to change from day to day, but I am certain our doom is no less immanent for all that.  <\/p>\n<p>Today&#8217;s reason follows a conversation with Number One Daughter, the nearly nine yr old Human Tape Recorder.  (Yes, I date myself, but &#8220;Human Voice Ripper and MP3 Playback Device&#8221; lacks that je ne se qua.)  It went as follows:<\/p>\n<p><b>BUMD:<\/b>  You need to finish your homework.<br \/>\n<b>HTR:<\/b>  But I want to talk about something else.<br \/>\n<b>BUMD:<\/b>  Is it related to school?<br \/>\n<b>HTR:<\/b>  Kind of &#8211; we could talk about that &#8220;talk to your kids about sex&#8221; commercial we saw on TV the other day.<br \/>\n<b>BUMD:<\/b>  Well, um [looks around for WifeOfTheBigUglyManDoll], sure&#8230;<br \/>\n<b>HTR:<\/b>  I&#8217;m wondering, why did they bother running it at all?<br \/>\n<b>BUMD:<\/b>  What???<br \/>\n<b>HTR:<\/b>  I mean, kids talk about sex all the fucking time.<br \/>\n<b>BUMD:<\/b>  [faceplant]<br \/>\n<b>HTR:<\/b>  [giggles]<br \/>\n<b>BUMD:<\/b>  Please, [looks around for WifeOfTheBigUglyManDoll], don&#8217;t use that word.<br \/>\n<b>HTR:<\/b>  [giggles]<\/p>\n<p>Doomed, I tell you.  Doomed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We, by which I refer to myself, the BigUglyManDoll, together with my wife, the WifeOfTheBigUglyManDoll, are doomed. The reason we are doomed seems to change from day to day, but I am certain our doom is no less immanent for all that. Today&#8217;s reason follows a conversation with Number One Daughter, the nearly nine yr [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=136"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=136"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=136"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}