{"id":1324,"date":"2011-05-12T07:02:18","date_gmt":"2011-05-12T11:02:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1324"},"modified":"2011-05-12T07:02:18","modified_gmt":"2011-05-12T11:02:18","slug":"countdown-to-the-rapture-ngm-edition-day-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1324","title":{"rendered":"Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 9"},"content":{"rendered":"

We’re into single digits – there are now only 9 full days left ’til the end of the world.\u00a0 In case you still doubt, yesterday was to mark the destruction of Rome<\/a>.\u00a0 Hundreds of people fled the city; luckily for them, Rome wasn’t destroyed in a day.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Anyway, I’m highlighting a different thing each day that I’m NOT GONNA MISS come the Rapture.\u00a0 Please continue to comment with your own NGM thoughts as well – I’m keeping the list, and I’ll tally them up and see what we’re all least likely to miss at the end of all things.<\/p>\n

Number 10:\u00a0 Donald Trump’s Hair.<\/a>
\nNumber 9:\u00a0 People who can’t drive in bad weather.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every winter in the Northern hemisphere, people take time out from meebling about their pathetic little lives to “count their blessings.”\u00a0 They give thanks for things they take for granted, like cars, and for things that really matter to them and make a positive difference in their lives, like the latest episode of Glee.\u00a0 Then they get in their cars, humming unrecognizable versions of songs you were too stoned to remember the first <\/strong>time they were hits, and stop halfway up the icy hill.<\/p>\n

It doesn’t matter where you are, what state, how much snow you do or don’t get – there’s always some idiot who chickens out halfway up the damn hill and can’t get started again, despite having paid extra for the Sport-n-Weather Package down at the Gas-n-Go, with those cute Pirelli tires starting to spin as they slide to the right and then sideways back down the hill, looking more surprised than embarrassed.\u00a0 They’re usually right in front of me.\u00a0 What is so hard about this?\u00a0 Don’t stop on the hill.\u00a0 Don’t. Stop. On. The. Hill. \u00a0 SOBUMD and I will open the curtains and a bottle of wine on a snowy day, counting morons as they stop on the hill and go sliding.\u00a0\u00a0 Bonus points for busses.<\/p>\n

So God, because I’m Not Gonna Miss people who can’t drive in bad weather – call the Rapture on May 21.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Despite all the good things that will end too soon come the Rapture, let’s face it, you’re Not Gonna Miss people who can’t drive in bad weather.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[51,14],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1324"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1324"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1334,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1324\/revisions\/1334"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}