{"id":1310,"date":"2011-05-11T07:47:59","date_gmt":"2011-05-11T11:47:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1310"},"modified":"2011-05-11T07:47:59","modified_gmt":"2011-05-11T11:47:59","slug":"countdown-to-the-rapture-ngm-edition-day-10","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=1310","title":{"rendered":"Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 10"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are only 10 days left ’til the end of the world, per the internet, which is the only news source\u00a0worth quoting anymore and therefore it must be true.\u00a0 I know, we’ve come close before <\/a>, but we here at Big Ugly Central are reliably informed that this is the real deal.\u00a0 We’re\u00a0planning a huge May 21 End Of The World party to celebrate the Rapture, when there will be no more future,\u00a0no more past, the judgment, the end of everything on earth, the end of Time.\u00a0 Rain date is May 22.<\/p>\n

So, with 10 days to go, I’m going to highlight a different thing each day that I’m NOT GONNA MISS when the\u00a0freakin’ world ends.<\/p>\n

Sure, there will be moaning and great gnashing of teeth (don’t worry if you don’t have any, I’m reliably\u00a0informed that teeth will be provided for your gnashing pleasure).\u00a0 Sure, there will be pain and suffering\u00a0and right bad weather.\u00a0 Sure, it’s the end of the world as we know it, and we feel fine.\u00a0 But despite all\u00a0that, despite all the good things that will end too soon come the Rapture, there’s a host of things that,\u00a0let’s face it, you’re Not Gonna Miss.\u00a0 Please feel free to comment with your own NGM comments as well – I’ll tally them all up and see what we’re all least likely to miss at the end!\u00a0 For right now,\u00a0I’m going to kick this off with:<\/p>\n

Number 10:\u00a0 Donald Trump’s Hair. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

For the love of all that is holy, please God, call the Rapture early so we don’t have to see any more of\u00a0that bird’s nest on the head of the Donald.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 You called home the peacock on Herbert Haft’s head, you seem to have calmed the storm of Don King’s superglued coiffure, and I no longer wanna get me an Al Sharpton haircut.\u00a0 If the Donald buys his way onto the Republican ticket, I worry that his legions of preppie minions will be marching in peaceful demonstration, arm in Armani-clad arm, singing “We Shall Overcomb” though the streets of New York.<\/p>\n

So God, because I’m Not Gonna Miss <\/strong>the Donald’s Hair – call the Rapture on May 21.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Despite all the good things that will end too soon come the Rapture, let’s face it, you’re Not Gonna Miss Donald Trump’s Hair. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[51,14],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1310"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1310"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1323,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1310\/revisions\/1323"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1310"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1310"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}