The Reigning Queen of Pink has had, by any measure, a day.\u00a0 So, for that matter, have I \u2013 on my part, partly because I am the father of the RQoP.<\/p>\n
The day for me started with dropping her off at school (just after dropping off Number One Son), and then heading to my main office.\u00a0 I spent a few quality hours there before driving to my Army office, spending a few quality hours there before driving to a meeting in Chantilly, where I spent a quality hour or so before getting on a conference call that lasted the entire drive home.\u00a0 (Huzzah for hands-free cell phones.)\u00a0 I was home for a quality 5 minutes, barely long enough to take off my jacket, before we all piled into the car and took the RQoP to her follow-up Dr. appointment for her endoscopy a few weeks ago \u2013 the upshot of which is that we\u2019re going to try a limited test of introducing eggs back into her diet.\u00a0 (Baked or cooked into things, such as cakes or muffins, not like mainlining scrambled eggs or a nice Benedict.)<\/p>\n
So there we were, in the waiting room for the Dr, at 5:15, with 15 minutes before our appointment.\u00a0 We waited.\u00a0 For 45 minutes.\u00a0 Because this is what you do in a waiting room.\u00a0 I thought about explaining to them what my bill rate was, but since I was obviously ignoring their \u201cno cell phones\u201d sign and typing furiously on my corporate blackberry, I figured that might be disingenuous.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Once in and out of the Dr office, we skipped down the road a block or two and put our names on the waiting list at a local eatery.\u00a0 It was packed, since unbeknownst to us, buildings for miles around had just lost power and everyone decided to eat there at the same time.\u00a0 To save time, we accepted their kind offer to eat on the outdoor terrace.<\/p>\n
Do you remember the bit about having enough time to take off my jacket?\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 It\u2019s nice out, if you\u2019re dressed or drinking.\u00a0 For those of us who weren\u2019t drinking, namely SOBUMD and the kids, it was a little brisk \u2013 and I didn\u2019t have my jacket to gallantly offer to any of them.\u00a0 However, I remembered that there was a blanket in the van, and hastily went to get that \u2013 at least someone could be warm, right?<\/p>\n
Do not put off until tomorrow what can reasonably be postponed until next week, maybe the week after, because hard work may pay off in the future, but laziness always pays off right now.\u00a0 What\u2019s in the van?\u00a0 The bag full of clothes, toys, and oh hey JACKETS that we still haven\u2019t dropped off at the local charity.\u00a0 I walked back to the table with a blanket (hiding two coats, a sweater and a robe), and a \u201cwho\u2019s the man\u201d grin.\u00a0 By the time I got back to the table, my next beer was waiting.\u00a0 Brilliant!<\/p>\n
We ate, in something much closer to comfort, they in their coats and blankets and I with my beer and my hat \u2013 hey, we were outdoors, and I stayed nice and warm.\u00a0 We came home and I put the three lunatic children to bed.\u00a0 The RQoP was significantly tired, and was nearly asleep by the time I arrived in her room with her toothbrush.\u00a0 I propped her up, got her teeth brushed, and then gave her the inhaler \u2013 which was partly the point of the Dr visit \u2013 and she tried to whisper in my ear.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d I asked.\u00a0 Whisper whisper.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m trying to whisper in your ear!\u201d she whispered.\u00a0 Why she should feel the need to whisper anything while we were alone in her room with the rest of the house awake, I couldn\u2019t guess \u2013 but then, you don\u2019t argue with those who rule by divine right, and so I dutifully leaned down so the cute, blond, 8-yr-old Reigning Queen of Pink could whisper in my ear:\u00a0 \u201cSweet titty-fuckin\u2019 Jesus, I\u2019m tired!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Facepalm.\u00a0 Right, probably best to whisper that one.\u00a0 \u201cKid, I\u2019m turning your light off now, and I don\u2019t ever want you to say that again.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOK.\u00a0 Goodnight Daddy!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
She’d had quite a day, after all.\u00a0 Needless to say, I walked out of the room and doubled over laughing.\u00a0 There\u2019s a reason SOBUMD goes by Inappropriate Girl sometimes\u2026\u00a0<\/p>\n
And so, after checking with my conscience for a few seconds and realizing I\u2019ve misplaced the damn thing again, I decided that oh yes I could share that with you, dear friend, fond relation, and gentle reader.\u00a0 I hope your virgin eyes recover.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Why she should feel the need to whisper anything while we were alone in her room with the rest of the house awake, I couldn\u2019t guess \u2013 but then, you don\u2019t argue with those who rule by divine right, and so I dutifully leaned down so the cute, blond, 8-yr-old Reigning Queen of Pink could whisper in my ear: \u201cSweet titty-fuckin\u2019 Jesus, I\u2019m tired!\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[61,47,40,10,49,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1218"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1218"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1219,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1218\/revisions\/1219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}