It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.\u00a0 Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n
Question:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Why do men tend to favor one breast over the other?<\/em><\/p>\n Answer:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Now first, we need to establish our bounds for the question.\u00a0 For the purposes of this ManFAQ, I’m going to assume you don’t mean the fact that most of us favor the left breast of, say, Angelina Jolie, over the left breast of, say, Mother Teresa – which is, I hope, self-explanatory and does not require a ManFAQ answer.\u00a0 You’re asking, I’m guessing, why one of us malodorous males might favor your left one over your right, or vice versa.<\/p>\n Having thus established our bounds, not to mention establishing the fact that I probably don’t have any, I will endeavor to explain this behavior.\u00a0 For many, it’s merely a question of proximity.\u00a0 The Doobie Brothers were right in most of their particulars – if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.\u00a0 If we’re on one or the other side of you, guess which one we see first?\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 And once we start, you know, it’s rude to leave the dance with someone else.\u00a0 Try positioning yourself differently next time and see if he doesn’t switch.\u00a0<\/p>\n If he does, though, he might be driven by older impulses.\u00a0 And by older, yes, I’m talking about his mother.\u00a0<\/p>\n