{"id":108,"date":"2007-01-21T20:02:00","date_gmt":"2007-01-22T00:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=108"},"modified":"2007-01-21T20:02:00","modified_gmt":"2007-01-22T00:02:00","slug":"clearly-the-daughter-of-the-big-ugly-man-doll","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/?p=108","title":{"rendered":"Clearly the daughter of the Big Ugly Man Doll"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Run for your lives!&#8221; shouted the Barbie&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>As I&#8217;m putting Annalise to bed, she tells me she wants me to tell her a story.  I start in with the &#8220;Once upon a time there was a little girl who went to bed&#8230;&#8221; and she interrupts me.  <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Not that story, Daddy!  I want a story about a little girl and a sheep.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Now, there must be three hundred places to take that, and I&#8217;m not going to any of them with my 4-yr-old, particularly as I notice her cuddling up with a small stuffed sheep under the mountain of pink fluff she uses for a bed.  So I tried this.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Once upon a time there was a little girl who had a cute little sheep.  She was a little bit cold, so they cut off all the sheep&#8217;s wool, and made everyone nice warm wool coats.  Then everyone was warm, except the sheep.  And the sheep said, &#8216;But what about me?&#8217;  And they said not to worry, your wool will grow back!  And do you know what?  They were right!  The sheep&#8217;s wool grew back, and everybody had nice warm wool coats, even the sheep.  The end!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Annalise, who had snuggled into what looked like an uncomfortable position with the stuffed sheep, promptly sat up and yelled at me as I tried to make my escape.  &#8220;Not that story, Daddy!  I want a story about a little girl and a sheep!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Right.<\/p>\n<p>Do you ever have those days when you forget who you are, and try to be who you think you should try to be?  What you&#8217;re forgetting is that most of the time, what folks want is who you are when you&#8217;re not trying.  So I tried this.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Once upon a time there was a little girl who had a cute little sheep.  She brought her cute little sheep to show to her father, who said &#8216;That&#8217;s great!  I was getting pretty hungry.&#8217;  So he cut off all the sheep&#8217;s wool, chopped the sheep into good-sized roasts, and threw him in the oven!  When the sheep was done cooking, he hacked it to collops and everybody ate it with a delicious garlic butter sauce!  And everybody went to bed happy and full.  Except the sheep.  The end!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yaay!  Goodnight, Daddy!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Some days I wonder.  Then I remember to stop thinking.  Just do it.<\/p>\n<p>-dpl<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Run for your lives!&#8221; shouted the Barbie&#8230; As I&#8217;m putting Annalise to bed, she tells me she wants me to tell her a story. I start in with the &#8220;Once upon a time there was a little girl who went to bed&#8230;&#8221; and she interrupts me. &#8220;Not that story, Daddy! I want a story about [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[10],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=108"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.biguglymandoll.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}