Shutdown, Day 3: The Monkeys Have the Phone Box

“If ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con,’ what is the opposite of progress?” – Paul Harvey 03 October 2013, Washington D.C.: As the US Federal Government continues to bicker about how many toppings they want on their healthcare reform, the National Zoo finds itself in the cross-hairs, forced to feed the animals in their care […]

Shutdown, Day 2: Fiscal Constraints Impact National Zoo

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. – Mark Twain 02 October 2013, Washington D.C.: As the US Federal Government continues to bicker about the budget, twerking, Obamacare, and whether Miley Cyrus would make a better ambassador to North Korea than Dennis Rodman, the National […]

Wake Me Up When the Shutdown Ends

OK, with all due respect, rights, and mad props to Green Day, I present for your reading and humming along pleasure my cheerful filk on one of their best songs. You can just please read, hum, and pretend you’re hearing Billie Jo Armstrong bitch at Congress.  (And not, you know, me.) Lyrics:  The fiscal year […]

Electric Elephants and Other Bad Ideas

The mall has anchor stores. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the purpose of an anchor to drag along the bottom and impede progress?

Calculating Your Stress Index

In the interest of helping all my loyal readers gauge their current levels of stress, I’ve created my own Stress Test, using a method that is highly scientific on account of it has more than 6 questions. Answer these 20 questions and I will present you with your personal Stress Index Number.