Posts tagged ‘songs’

We’re Gonna Default in the Morning (Left Us In the Lurch This Time)

16 October, 2013 | | No Comment

I know, I was doing the whole Shutdown Countdown thing, but I got furloughed.  Luckily, I’ve declared myself essential personnel, and I’ve brought you, yes, no, that’s right – another song.  You know the tune.  And now look – I sang the last one.  You know you don’t want me to do that again, so I’m asking you to sing this one for us.  Post it to YouTube and let me know, and I’ll update this with a link to your version!  You know you want to!  Come now, sing, and fiddle with me while the Titantic goes down, and Rome burns, and we can mix drinks and metaphors until the sun comes up on the smoking remains of our economy!  After all, there’s just a few more hours….
There’s just a few more hours.
That’s all the time we’ve got. A few more hours
Before we go ker-splot.

There are budget deals all over Washington,
and Congress has to track ’em down in just a few more hours!

We’re gonna default in the morning! Crash bang!
The banks are gonna fail. Pull out the stopper!
Let’s have a whopper!  ‘Cause they’ve left us in the lurch this time!

I don’t wanna wake up in the mornin’
I sure don’t wanna watch the news prime time.
Europe, come and kiss us;
Show how you’ll miss us.
‘Cause they’ve left us in the lurch this time!

They’ll take a vote, Roll Call the Floor.
And it will fail, and roll right out the door!

For We’re gonna default in the mornin’
Crash bang! the banks are gonna fail.
Kick out this Congress, Show them the egress;
they’ve left us in the lurch, left us in the lurch,
‘Cause they’ve left us in the lurch this time!

We’re gonna default in the morning
Crash bang! the banks are gonna fail.

Jail ’em or stone ’em – vote out and disown them!
They’ve left us in the lurch this time!
I’m gonna sleep in, in the morning!
What’s the point of lookin’ at the time.

The Senate ain’t able, to pass a pay bill,
And they’ve left us in the lurch this time!

Because we’re debtors, they’ll grade us down.
And if we default, 
China takes the crown!

For We’re gonna default in the morning!
Crash bang! the banks are gonna fail.

Feather and tar ’em;
Brand and disbar ’em! They’ve left us in the lurch,
Left us in the lurch…
‘Cause they’ve left us in the lurch this time!

Starlight is reelin – time to vote now.
Midnight is ticking like a bomb.
The markets are waking…
DC is shaking…  Good luck, you fools,
Perhaps you can pass it with aplomb.

No – we’re gonna default in the mornin’
Crash bang! the banks are gonna fail…
One-finger salute ’em – Then haul off and boot ’em…
they’ve left us in the lurch, left us in the lurch,
‘Cause they’ve left us in the lurch this time!

Wake Me Up When the Shutdown Ends

1 October, 2013 | | 4 Comments

OK, with all due respect, rights, and mad props to Green Day, I present for your reading and humming along pleasure my cheerful filk on one of their best songs. You can just please read, hum, and pretend you’re hearing Billie Jo Armstrong bitch at Congress.  (And not, you know, me.)

Lyrics: 

The fiscal year has come and passed
 And so it goes, just like years passed
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

ObamaCare is all they say
 but Congress gets paid anyway
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

Here comes the vote again
 The Budget’s on the Floor
 Now send it back again
 Amending it some more…

As my savings start to drain
 I’ll never forget to VOTE again
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

You’ve passed a budget once before
 Do you need there to be a war?
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

Shut down the Feds again
 Like we did in Clinton’s Day
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

Here comes the vote again
 The Budget’s on the Floor
 Now send it back again
 Amending it some more…

As my savings start to drain
 I’ll never forget to VOTE again
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

This Congress is just a big disgrace
 Your sorry asses can be replaced
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

ObamaCare is all they say
 but Congress gets paid anyway
 Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

Wake me up when The Shutdown ends
Wake me up when The Shutdown ends

 

Really, you don’t want me to sing that.  Billie Jo has it.  I don’t have it, and I can’t carry it in a bucket, either.  YouTube channel notwithstanding. 

 

Do you know what today is? You should.

6 June, 2013 | | No Comment

Hi, yeah, I know, it’s been a while.  Things are busy, and the usual flow of humor seems to be constipated – an uncomfortable blockage if ever there was one.  We’ll try to get back here a little more often in the coming weeks.  

In any event, that’s not a reason to miss a decent shout out for Convoy Day – I posted this once before, but hey – that was 5 years ago.  It’s worth repeating, fer sure fer sure!

 

————————————————————————————-
Uh, breaker one-nine. This here’s the Rubber Duck
You gotta copy on me Pig-Pen, c’mon? 

Uh, yeah 10-4 Pig-Pen, fer sure, fer sure
By golly it’s clean clear to Flag-town, c’mon? 

Yeah, that’s a big 10-4 there Pig-Pen, yeah
we definitely got the front door good buddy,
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy. 

Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In a Kenworth pullin’ logs
Cabover Pete with a reefer on
An’ a Jimmy haulin’ hogs 

We’s headin’ fer bear on I-one-oh
‘Bout a mile out a’ Shaky-town
I sez Pig-Pen, this here’s th’ Rubber Duck
An’ I’m about to put the hammer down 

Cause we got a little ol’ convoy, rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a little ol’ convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on an’ join our convoy, ain’t nothin’ gonna git in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy acress the U.S.A.
Convoy, convoy… 

Uh, breaker Pig-Pen, this here’s th’ Duck
an’ a-you wanna back off with them hogs? 

10-4, ’bout five mile or so, 10 roger
Them hogs is gittin’ in-tense up here. 

By the time we got into Tulsa town
We had eighty-five trucks in all
But they’s a road-block up on the clover-leaf
An’ them bears was wall to wall 

Yeah, them smokies as thick as bugs on a bumper
They even had a bear in the air
I sez, callin’ all trucks, this here’s the Duck
We about to go a-huntin’ bear 

Cause we got a great big convoy, rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a great big convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on an’ join our convoy, ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy across the U.S.A.
Convoy, convoy… 

Uh, you wanna gimme a 10-9 on that Pig-Pen?
Uh, nega-tory Pig-Pen, yer still too close
Yeah, them hogs is startin’ to close up my sinuses
Mercy sakes you better back off another ten 

Well we rolled up Interstate forty-four
Like a rocket sled on rails
We tore up alla our swindle sheets
And left ‘em settin’ on the scales 

By the time we hit that Chi-town
Them bears was-a-gittin’ smart
They’d brought up some reinforcements
From the Illinois National Guard 

There was armored cars and tanks and jeeps
‘An rigs of every size
Yeah, them chicken coops was full o’ bears
And choppers filled the skies 

Well we shot the line and we went for broke
With a thousand screamin’ trucks
And eleven long-haired Friends O’ Jesus
In a chartreuse micro-bus 

Uh, Rubber Duck to Sod Buster
Come on there, yeah, 10-4 Sod Buster
Listen, you wanna put that micro-bus in
behind that suicide jockey?
Yeah, he’s haulin’ dynamite and he
needs all the help he can get 

Well we laid a strip for the Jersey shore
And prepared to cross the line
I could see the bridge was lined with bears
But I didn’t have a doggone dime 

I sez Pig-Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck
We just ain’ta gonna pay no toll
So we crashed the gate doin’ ninety-eight
I sez let them truckers roll, 10-4 

Cause we got a mighty convoy, rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got mighty convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on an’ join our convoy, ain’t nothin’ gonna git in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy across the U.S.A.
Convoy, convoy… 

Uh, 10-4 Pig-Pen, what’s yer 20? …Omaha?
Well they ought know that to do
with them hogs out there fer sure
Well, mercy sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on out a here
so keep the bugs off your glass
and the bears off your…tail
and we’ll catch you on the flip-flop
This here’s the Rubber Duck on the side…we gone..bye, bye…

 

Jingle Bells

22 December, 2012 | | 2 Comments

I just found this on my hard drive, with a date from more than 7 years ago.  I have a reasonable sneaking suspicion that I wrote it.  Thought I’d share! 

Dashing through the store,
I’m one Horseman away.
Did St. John the Divine
Envision Christmas Day?
I’ve gotta buy this stuff,
And wrap it up real tight,
But shopping at the mall’s
Like the Apocalypse tonight!

Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
The holidays are here!
Why do we put our
Selves through this
The same time every year?

Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
The holidays are here!
Why do we put our
Selves through this
The same time every year?

Grandma’s getting socks,
And Grandpa’s getting drunk,
And no one wants the box
That smells faintly of skunk.
Presents quickly wrapped.
Sweat sox hung with care.
I think this keg is tapped.
Hey!  Perhaps Grandpa will share!

Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
The holidays are here!
Why do we put our
Selves through this
The same time every year?

Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
The holidays are here!
Why the hell do we put
Ourselves through this
The Same! Time! Ev! Ry! year?!?

 

 

Happy Leap Day

29 February, 2012 | | No Comment

February is over, except that it’s not.  It’s been unseasonably warm for a February, and the season of Spring seems to be creeping up on us sooner than even the buds on the trees expected.  I’ll take it.  March should add some seasoning to the Spring mix we’re seeing, and the Baseball season is just around the corner. 

Today is a little bit of calendar magic – you get an extra day, a gimme, a February mulligan, once every four years.  It’s like finding Brigadoon, but a little more often.

Today is a good day to celebrate the things we don’t see every day, even if they’re things we see every day, if you know what I mean.   

And today, the cast of Rent sings “Five Hundred Twenty Seven Thousand Forty Minutes” – throws them every time.