Countdown to the Rapture: I’m Not Gonna Miss watching the Chicago Cubs blow the pennant every damn year, call the Rapture tomorrow. Because Harry Caray is waiting for us all in Heaven: “Cubs win! Holy Cow!”
Countdown to the Rapture: Because I’m Not Gonna Miss Celebrities who can’t handle celebrity, call the Rapture on May 21st. And please, take Charlie Sheen first, OK?
Countdown to the Rapture: So please Lord, because I’m Not Gonna Miss watching my weight – call the Rapture on May 21st. And have the grill fired up – let’s cook the golden Ox!
Countdown to the Rapture: So please Lord, because I’m Not Gonna Miss your more vocal, vehement, violent followers – call the Rapture on May 21st. My buddy Stephen Hawking and I will expect our 72 virgins when we arrive.
Countdown to the Rapture: In discussing the upcoming Rapture with Number One Son, he expressed his disdain for the current prediction. I asked him why, and he explained: “Daddy, the 21st is a Saturday. Douglas Adams made it very clear that the Earth will be destroyed on a Thursday.”