Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 5

Countdown to the Rapture: In discussing the upcoming Rapture with Number One Son, he expressed his disdain for the current prediction. I asked him why, and he explained: “Daddy, the 21st is a Saturday. Douglas Adams made it very clear that the Earth will be destroyed on a Thursday.”

Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 6

So God, because I’m Not Gonna Miss Your natural disasters – call the Rapture on May 21. And stop trying to pick up the seven-ten split with a brace of mobile homes.

Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 7

Despite all the good things that will end too soon come the Rapture, let’s face it, you’re Not Gonna Miss cheap beer.

Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 8

Please re-post this as your status if you or someone you know has been affected by the upcoming End of the World. The Rapture has affected millions of lives – in fact, a recent poll showed that three out of four people make up nearly 75% of the population, which must be true since it’s a statistic on the internet. I know that only 3% of you will repost this, and a damn sight fewer of you will be caught up in the Rapture next week. But please, support Rapture awareness by leaving this as your status for just an hour.

Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 9

Despite all the good things that will end too soon come the Rapture, let’s face it, you’re Not Gonna Miss people who can’t drive in bad weather.